My Best friend

They say it is easy to be critical and tough on those that are closest to us. That rings true in our day to day lives in our human relationships - and it has also proven to be true in my horse relationship.

Once again, the power of simulations has showed me that my energy, even when my body is in a neutral position, is up and full of emotion. I have been so aware of that this entire week and I have been nothing but upset with myself for it. After receiving feedback from a simulation, I had to smile, say "thank you," and let the tears fly. I came to realize that I needed to accept that my energy is high, I need to own my emotions. When I thought that the other day was a big day of emotions and feeling low, today got lower.

Focus stations filled the afternoon and the RBI in me wanted to sit out of the stations and separate myself from Kucha until I could get more emotionally fit. But something in Kucha's eyes and in my heart felt that we should go play. And then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been nothing but critical, judgmental, and harsh on my best friend. Just because he feels the need to move his feet a bit more than other horses, has a few RB tendencies, doesn't mean that I had the right to judge him for it. In other words, my ego that was so concerned with having a horse that wanted to be with me got a huge smackdown. This afternoon, I smiled at Kucha and I understood him. I understood him when he wanted to move his feet a little instead of standing still to eat. I understood that just because he wasn't arched on the circle didn't mean that he wasn't focused on me. He had an ear on me the entire time and was more than willing to come in when asked. And just because he wanted to move his feet a little didn't mean that I had to amplify his energy and attach my emotions onto it. Just because he can be RBE doesn't mean he needs to be treated as an extreme RBE all the time.

I know this is quite a long post but what it comes down to is that I had the best play session with my best friend this afternoon. Accepting myself and my horse for who we are in the moment allowed me to be an understanding and trusting leader for him. And the expression on that big white face of his said it all. It was as if he had been waiting for me to see him for who he is for so long. He is my greatest teacher and I can't thank him enough for hanging in there with me.

How Interesting

Please forgive me for the lack of organization in this post. The past few days have been full of insight, heightened emotions, laughs, and a few tears which showed up today (surprised it hasn't happened earlier!).

One of the biggest things for me so far has been realizing that I wasn't taking the time it really takes to ask for true permission in order to enter Kucha's space and not only halter him, but halter him like a horseman. I have had to get pretty provocative in order to get him to look at me while I am outside of his pen and come to see me at the gate - tossing a tiny stone at his rump, crouching and sneaking to his zone 5, slowly yet full of energy! It has been very tempting to just put the halter on each time he gives me permission to enter, but like John Barr said "perfect practice makes perfect." And it has paid off. Since Sunday, every time I go to see Kucha, he is more willing to greet me and we are both acting more like partners when it is time to halter.

Today was filled with demos and simulations that were truly enlightening. I discovered that when I bring my energy up to match my horse in his right brained extroverted moments that I too go right brained and my adrenaline comes up just like his! This became apparent to me when he did an exercise with a barrel. It took minutes for my heart rate to come down again. How can I help him when I contribute to his anxiety!? What my horse needs from me is true leadership. In his RBE moments, I need to match him and dang, is that hard. I thought I was able to, but no matter how quickly I thought I was moving his feet or tasking him, he still looked off into the distance and had no reason to focus on me. The tricky part here is that he needs me to TRULY match his energy, to truly have a plan, and keep emotions out of it - and that is the most difficult thing for me. Funny how horses have a way helping us where we need it most.

The food is delicious, the coffee nice and strong, and the people are just wonderful. It has rained each day at about 2:30pm here and then the sun returns. Kucha is becoming very confident near the pens and the round pens, the grazing areas, and even feels safe and comfortable enough to leave his buddies and mosey! When we went to the big playground, that was when he was the big horse I started with two years ago!

I love that I recognize that I am smiling more and laughing more today when playing. Good stuff.

We Made It!!!

It is Saturday night and my parents and I just got back from giving Kucha his supper at his final stop before making camp for two months at the Parelli Center. He has been such a champ with all of this travel. He has never made a trip that has been this long! Thursday night we stayed in York, NE at Diamond B. It was a great place for an over night. We will probably stop there on the way home! Last night we stayed in Colorado Springs at H2 Ranch with Ed and Arlene. What a fabulous place! It was a bed and breakfast for both horses and humans! We enjoyed homemade apple cinnamon pancakes and coffee, gave Kucha his breakfast and hit the road. The last hour and a half of driving to Pagosa Springs was probably the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen. Just gorgeous. Kucha was thrilled to get to Harmony Meadows early this afternoon, as were we. I am unpacked at the place I will be staying at for the first four weeks of my trip. It is a great little house about 10 mins from the ranch. Tomorrow we head to the Parelli ranch for check-in and orientation!

Packin' Up!

So my mom and I spent the morning running MORE last minute errands to get ready to leave bright and early tomorrow. Our plan is to make it to York, NE tomorrow night, Colorado Springs the second night, and then tackle the mountains and land in Pagosa Springs Saturday night. Check in and orientation are on Sunday! It seems that I have been looking forward to this for so long and now it is finally here! Crazy!

Kucha has been watching me pack up the trailer with all of his goodies. I wonder if he knows something is up!

Enjoy the Ride

I am realizing that I have been hoping for some big eye opening experience to really grab me these past couple years with horses. But I am coming to realize that this is something that can't be forced and I will be presented with new challenges and puzzles each day that will help Kucha and I become better partners. I am going to start with trying to not taking things personally when playing with Kucha. Just something to think about. I'm going to relax a bit here and enjoy the ride.

It's Not About the Trailer!!!

This morning I had a lovely visit with my grandparents - breakfast at Kappy's was delicious. I ran a few last minute errands for the trip - I am set with Cliff bars, face wash; you know, the necessities!

I am battling putting some weight on Kucha. He has hay in front of him 24/7, gets his energy supplement, and still, no change. Something is gonna have to give!!!

This afternoon, Kucha and I left his dry lot and played some games. He has been pretty worried when he can't see the other two horses in the grass pasture, so I figured moving his feet and asking him to think might get his mind off of it! Falling leaf and snappy canter departures and he was feeling pretty good. I have realized that I have never been able to play with Kucha and trailer loading. Anytime he gets in a trailer, it's because he needs to go somewhere. I quickly realized that it's not about the trailer and practiced squeezing him between me and the side of the trailer, putting his zone 3 at the entrance of the trailer, etc. Pretty soon, I could send him in at a trot! My mom snapped a quick video and it is posted below!

Let the Games Begin!

So the journey out to Colorado has officially begun. Yesterday, my mom and I moved out of my Madison apartment and then packed up Kucha and headed for Barrington. It is nice to be home for a few days before leaving town for good. It was an emotional day to be sure. Saying "see ya later" to friends and roommates proved to be difficult. Kucha and his girlfriend parted ways, but they will see each other again ;-)

This morning began with chores and is ending with waffles and coffee. I have lots of laundry and last minute organizing to do (slow and right beats fast and wrong!) Visits with the grandparents and siblings are in order as well.

That's all for now!